If this is what toddlerhood is like, I don't think we can handle teenagers.

We always thought that Joseph or Parker would be the first of our kids to wreck one of our vehicles. Apparently we have bred a NASCAR driver without realizing it.
Yesterday Joseph had a dentist appointment so we were headed out to the school to pick up the kids early. I told Abigail and Jacob to pick up the blocks off the living room floor and I went upstairs to get Matthew out of his crib. I heard the front door open and Jacob head out to the van. (you knew his name was going to pop up, didn't you) I really didn't think too much of it because he does it all the time. I came downstairs with Matthew and looked out the front door and the van was not there. That struck me as odd for a half a second and then I came to my senses and screamed, "WHERE IS THE VAN?!" I looked closer and I saw it sitting among the trees down the hill. It was totally like a movie, running in slow motion. I ran screaming down the hill for Jacob and I could see him in the driver's seat crying. I had to climb over the fence and thru all the poison ivy and weeds. I could barely open the door because the fence was jammed up against the driver side door. I kept asking him, "What happened? What happened?" His only reply was, "The car. The car." There was not a scratch on the child. You would think that somebody standing in the drivers seat only holding on to the steering wheel, careening backwards, down the hill at probably 15 mph would have been flung around the car, but apparently he has superhuman strength and was able to hold on.

The best I can figure is a) He grabbed the keys out of the house and decided that he was going to start the car and be helpful, (yeah right!) or b) He grabbed the keys out of the house and decided that he was going to start the car and be mischievious. (yeah, that one sounds more like it!)
So I call Joe, because now I am in a huge predicament. I have 7 kids. There are not many vehicles that we can fit in. He doesn't answer. I am not really sure what I thought he would do at that precise moment anyhow. I am still thinking "got to get to the dentist on time" so I go slipping down the hill in the mud, crawl thru the van and pull out carseats and throw them in the truck. By this time I am dripping with sweat. We high tail it to the school where the boys are sitting in the front office waiting on me. Joseph looks at me like "why are you so late?" I just shoot him a look and say, "You have no idea." We get to the dentist only 10 minutes late where we explain very calmly why we are running late.


Later that evening when Joe got home, he got on the tractor and pulled it out of the woods, off the fence, and out of the mud.



Joe asked Jacob if he wrecked mama's car. Jacob looked very panic stricken and wouldn't answer. Joe asked him again and Jacob said, "No Sham." (that is how he says no, ma'm) Joe said, "Well, who did it?" Jacob replied, "Parker".

Joe said it is probably totaled. It will cost more to get it fixed than it is worth at this point. I was really hoping to get 300,000 miles out of it. I was almost there with 268,000.

This is where it came to rest up against 2 trees.

This is a view of the back side. It looks like an accordian. The metal is just rippled and the bumper is folded in half.

This is the back of the van. The back window busted and flew out into the woods. My beloved stroller survived!

This is a view of the house from where the van was sitting. That little person on the hill is Parker. This gives you an idea of how far it traveled.

We are driving my brother-in-law's suburban. Thank goodness for family with extra vehicles lying around!

IF this child survives to be a teenager, he will NEVER get his license. I can just hear the insurance company now....hmm, If he totaled a car at the age of 3, yep, let's push their rates thru the roof!

All in all, we are truly thankful that he is ok. As Joe put it, it is probably a lot like our Heavenly Father looks at us. We couldn't punish him, more than he had punished himself. We hugged him, kissed him, and told him we were so glad that he was ok. Along with NEVER GET IN THE VAN AGAIN! Heavenly Father loves us and forgives us for the really dumb stuff that we do.

Hopefully the insurance company will forgive us!