Why you ask? Because we have a kid that is faster than greased lighning. Think of the possibilities! Track star, the next Michael Phelps, running back, NASCAR driver, oh wait, we don't want that one...
This kid can get into stuff faster than I can clean up the previous disaster.
Case in point.
I put Jacob in the tub so that I could clean the bathroom and keep an eye on him at the same time. Multitasking at its best! He is old enough to leave for a minute while in the tub, so I don't hesitate to go upstairs to tend to Parker who is home with strep throat. When I get back to the bathroom, he has gotten into my jewelry drawer, is wearing my watch, has broken a pearl necklace and is swimming in some suspiciously yellow water. The yellow water turns out to be my $15 oil of olay moisturizer tinted with foundation-hence the pee colored water, and the pearls are just small enough to slide down the drain holes. I manage to scrape up about 10 of them and put them in the lid to the moisturizer. I drag him out of the tub and order him to put on some clothes. He throws himself all over the floor because he wants to wear his batman pajamas. Again. For the 4th day in a row. I have to sneak them off of him after he has fallen asleep so that I can wash them every night. I try to be brave and hold out thinking he will give up on them. While I am cleaning the monsoon up off the bathroom floor I look out and he has poured olive oil all over my nightstand. Yes, it was stored there. Why? I don't know.
I give in and throw his dirty batman pajamas at him and go back to clean up the bathroom. He gets dressed and bites the end of the new thermometer off. I restrain myself from beating him and put him on the couch with threats of a 14 hour nap if he gets up off that couch. I go back to the bathroom to gather up the dirty clothes and promptly knock over the lid that was holding the last of the pearls and they go tumbling down the drain.
Sigh.
The one good thing is, he did not fall asleep so therefore he will go to bed at a decent hour tonight.
12 comments:
wow. wow.
I would die.
Yea, you need to find a way to channel energy to make you money... I can't wait to meet him - I think you are making all this up (ha ha)! Good thing you are recording all this...
Oh, what a day! Good thing tomorrow's a new day:-) It really is a good thing we get to go to sleep. Sending a big hug for you from Texas!
Well, I definitely would not trade! My kids are frustrating, but only on a level I can handle--your child is beyond my abilities of patience. Good luck with that.
I know I have said it before, but I will say it again...you are a saint. I would have a nervous breakdown! Just keep repeating children are a blessing, children are a blessing... :)
These boys! Hopefully he can repay you in the future when he is making the money with his super fast abilities.
Surely not MY grandson?! I don't see how you do it. I'm afraid child protective services would have been at my house a long time ago if I were you. Sounds like it's time for another girl's night out (or in).
GRRR, I'm so glad you are so calm and collect because my kids would be dead after a night like that! LOL
Yikes. I am amazed that kid lived through it...I know I cannot in any way mirror your self control, although I guess with Parker at home with strep you would have had a witness, so killing the poor kid wasn't really an option!
I love your blog! :) When he wins his fist race, tell him he owes you some pearls!
LOL! I'm exhausted just reading that! He definitely keeps you guys on your toes doesn't he? I think once I knocked the pearls over again I just would've given up and started crying. You are a strong woman and Jacob is lucky to have you for his mama! : )
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