Our GREAT Government at work.....HA!

Last spring when I went to sign up Abigail for kindergarten, I could NOT find her birth certificate anywhere. It finally dawned on me after looking for 2 days that I didn't have it. Since she has never attended school or preschool it was never necessary for her to actually have one until now. I don't know how it slipped my mind ordering one for her after she was born, oh wait yes I do.
So all summer long, I kept thinking, "Got to get a birth certificate, need to run up to Nashville and get a birth certificate." So like a good mom, I wait until the week of registration and realize, "Oh man! I haven't gotten that birth certificate yet! School starts in 4 days!" So I hop online and see if I can get one there. Yes you can get one online, but they don't actually take orders online. But, for only a small nominal fee, you can go thru a different company online and order them. Being the frugal and thrifty (ha) person that I am, I thought, "there is no way I am spending extra money just to wait for it to get here. I will march myself right on down to the health dept. and just get it there." So while running errands, sans kids, in town yesterday, I remembered AGAIN that I still didn't have the birth certificate and thought, "Perfect! No kids to run amok in the waiting room, I will just run over there and pick it up and be on my merry way!" Yeah right.
First of all, let me preface this by saying it is hot in Tennessee. I mean REALLY hot. Like as 98 degrees hot and that is not even considering humidity. You walk outside for 5 minutes and whatever you did to your hair and makeup is instantly melted. Your clothes have stuck to you in ways that make you feel very uncomfortable.
I drive up to the HDept. and manage to snag the LAST available parking spot for 2 blocks around. I walk in and wait in line. When I get to the front I inform them that I need a birth certificate and they flatly state, "8 bucks. Cash only." Of course you only take cash. What was I thinking? That you would have actually joined the 21'st century yet? I walk outside and look around. There is no way that I am losing my parking spot so I decide to walk. I am only 2 blocks off the square where I know there is a bank, but man it's hot outside. I am perfectly capable of walking that distance, but have no desire to. The DMV is only 1 block up the road so I head up there. When I get there, the front door is locked. Wha? It's not lunch time. Then I look at the sign on the front door. It is election day here in TN. So they are closed. We could never ask a gov't worker to work on election day. Might be to strenuous or something.
Ok, plan B. On to the scary gas station with bars on the windows and doors. There is an ATM sign on the window, so I should be able to grab some cash there. I walk past all the men sitting on top of the trash cans eating their lunch and pop in the door. No ATM. "Sorry ma'm it was taken out a long time ago. Too many robberies." Ah yes, I knew I was in safe place when I spotted the bars. The attendant was very nice and ran my card thru the cash registar and gave me some money for a $2 fee. Hopefully there won't be any other charges on the card! I book it on over to the HDept, stand in line again and fill out my form. Surprisingly for how crowded the parking lot was, there are hardly any people in the waiting room.
Seeing as how I was so forgetful on getting the actual birth cert. It didn't surprise me that I forgot to bring something to read. There are no magazines, and the tv doesn't work. Actually I was quite entertained. There were some Very interesting people there. And scary. After a while though, people watching can get old. I dozed off a time or two jerking back awake hoping that I hadn't missed my name being called. After 1 1/2 hours of sitting in a very boring, albeit clean waiting room, I hear my name being called to report to window 7. I try to be as cheerful as possible and ask her how her day has been. "Our computers are down." Is her response. "You'll have to come back." SERIOUSLY?! You didn't know this when I came in an hour and a half ago?!" I tersly ask her. "Will I have to wait in this waiting room again?" She looks over her glasses at me like I have magically grown a 3rd eyeball in the middle of my forehead. "Uh, yes. But, you won't have to fill out your paper work again!" she replies. Like that is any consolation. Next time I come lady, I am going to bring all 7 of my kids and let them wreak havoc on your waiting room and then we'll see how long you make me wait. I bet I would be out of there with my form in hand in less than 20 minutes.
Now I understand why people order their forms online. One day I might learn.